*clink* the sound of champagne glasses ...

to whom it may concern,

I have many things that i have been remiss in telling you. I always said to myself that i would write you a letter, to tell you what you mean in my life and how i feel about it. I once read a quote said that my best friend is my worst enemy, and in our case it probably is true. It seems fate wants us to remain friends for a very long time, for every time we go our separate ways and drifting apart seems inevitable, we find our way back to each other one way or another. We are in some ways the polar opposites of each other and in other ways so alike, it's frightening to others. I find it comforting that we're able to fight, argue, sulk (you, pretty much all the time), and be able to get past it, since most of our fights are so bad we keep thinking, this might just be the end of it. Then, everything is fine and dandy, and things are the way they were before. It happens so fast, it leaves our heads spinning. It's confusing how each time I think I'll never talk to you again, that this is the straw that broke the camel's back, you call or I say something, and the pain and anger just fades into oblivion. It's the kind of easy relationship that I wish I had with everybody else.

You're my best friend, but you provide the anchor that keeps me in place when i start drifting away from my purpose. I on the other hand, find it hard to figure out just what I do that keeps you there when the going gets tough. Maybe I'm the balance with my crazy, whimsical, and weird personality that stops you from going into the kind of depression that you would otherwise, or maybe I'd just like to think that. It'd be nice to know that our friendship is one that is based on a give and take basis rather than a needy person who needs an outlet kind of one. Although, I believe that we do give and take and we each have something that the other needs, and that's why we're still best friends.

I guess my point is Thank You, for being my friend, helping me arrange the chairs, visiting me all those times when i was just about to start feeling abandoned and that I'd made a mistake, putting up with my nonsensical musings, understanding my moods, cooking for me, teaching me UNO, letting me in and not shutting me out look you do too almost everyone else, being honest, introducing Harry Potter to me, getting me the yellow book, that you said, the character was so like me in that i couldn't cook ( i can now :p ), and for many more things that i can't possibly finish writing or recall...but most important of all, thank you for sharing your life with me...

Let's raise our glasses, to eternity as best friends... and may we always grace our presence in the other's life so that this existence will be a little more bearable. Cheers.

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a pattern of self hatred

i wish that the world would look at people for who they are instead of what they are, but then I'd have to do that first. We always think, oh! i wouldn't judge someone by the colour of their skin or their physical features, or even the colour of their shoes. The truth is....we all do, and we are born and raised in this world where it has become almost second nature to judge someone without getting to know them. I sit here, and i think, not too hard, and i can recall several times a day where i would look at someone and judge them...it is painful to admit that i am one of those hypocrites that i so severely abhor, and yet it would be an even bigger hypocracy to not do so. What am i going to do about it? Stop completely would be the first answer that comes to mind but if i were to say that, i would be lying and it wouldn't be possible, not immediately anyway. It has become such a huge part of our nature, that most of the times we do it, it's subconscious and we never even notice it. I suppose one thing i could do is just be more self aware, filter my thoughts...do all those things, and maybe just maybe I'll be able to do it. Till, then you're just gonna have to bear with this hypocritical, judgmental, and self serving evil of a person...

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the after party!!!

Hi, would have done this sooner but i was too exhausted. The Halloween party was the bomb!! I loved it so much, we danced, took pics and just had tons of fun...When we first got there, we felt so out of place with no where to go and not knowing anyone except the three of us (Bernice, Nisha, and Me). So, we just stood there with our huge jug of coke, drinking and taking pics. Then a guy came and decided to take pics with us, then he invited us to the VIP area where we had a place to sit and get our bearings back. Then we finished drinking our first jug, and continued to get our 2nd one. After which we moved to the dance floor to let loose a little. It was probably the funniest thing. Someone dancing with Nisha and tried talking to her instead of dancing, and the construction worker who tried to get frisky with Bernice and Nisha, i guess it helps that he was really cute... Then it was time for us to go back and we decided to follow this bunch of guys and find a cab to go back to hostel. Worst decision of the night, they were so drunk and when we did find a cab, they got in first and left instead of doing the gentlemanly thing. Thank God though, lord knows where we would've ended up if we followed them...Since they didn't even seem to know where they were going. Hahahahaha... It was one of the best times we've had since coming to S'pore, and we only reached back at 5 a.m. and slept through both of my tutorials and woke up at 12.30 p.m. Trust me it was well worth it...